-A (typhon_02) wrote in evilgeniuses,

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Operation: Splinter Monkey

Alright, so here's an idea I'm working on. Facing an dilemma regarding policing large populations, I've come up with what seems to be an ideal regulatory solution: Green Monkeys. Not just any green monkeys, however, these monkey's will have baseball bats.

Ok, no really, here's how it'll work. I'll appoint Deputies to work with paintball guns. These paintballs will have special chemicals that show up under certain lenses (i.e. the ballroom scene in Mission: Impossible). The monkeys will have goggles that will highlight this, and due to there intense monkey-fu training, they will descend upon the marked perpetrators with astounding monkey fury. The monkeys will have leather suits as protection, making them look like the main character from Splinter Cell.

The goggles will be surgically attached and will also have a feed into the monkeys' blood streams. From there, a cocktail of steroids and adrenaline will be able to be pumped into the monkeys remotely, along with tranquilizers to quell any monkey uprisings or if they start attacking innocent civilians.

All in all, I think this is a cost-effective plan. Granted, there are setbacks such as storage, feeding, and the smell of large masses of monkey poop, but that can be utilized as a weapon as well.

Plus, how great would it be to stand on top of a building and command "Release the monkeys!"?

Please let it be noted, however, those who try to take this idea will be the first training dummies to incur crazed monkey wrath. Have a nice day!
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